Inner Excellence: The Changing Landscape - Five Resolutions for 2010
From Carol Orsborn, Ph.D., 1/6/2010 3:02:02 PM
Traditionally, January is the month we all resolve to make changes in our lives. But this year, change had different plans for many in my circle of family, fellow workers and friends. Rather than wait patiently for us to call the shots, change was something that mostly happened to us, beating us to it over the holidays.
It was as if somebody pushed a giant reset button when nobody was looking, with every encounter, call and holiday gathering bringing news of varying magnitude.
For instance, on the day before New Year’s Eve, a day that historically nothing ever happens, the noisemakers went off early. It was 8 a.m. in the morning, to be exact. I know, because this is the earliest hour that wreckers can come in and take down trees and houses in our quiet canyon neighborhood. And this wasn’t any house. This was a 100-year-old cottage built of stone, nestled in a cozy garden right next to our home of many years, that had recently been sold to investors.
We had known change was coming for quite awhile, and braced ourselves for our new neighbors. We did not expect bulldozers leveling this piece of history, especially on the last day of 2009. And, in fact, there had been no permit posted to warn any of us. By the time the neighborhood mustered itself awake, the job was half-done.
Some of the changes happening to those for whom I care are joyous—the announcement of a pregnancy, the landing of a new job. Some are not—the diagnosis of a serious illness, the demolition of the cottage next door. Some are just flat out surprises, as in the case of the friend who I’d fixed up with a blind date just about a month ago and who is now married—and not to that fellow, or anybody else she had even met yet the last time we’d spoken.
It’s going to take me awhile to adjust to the new landscape—both literally and metaphorically. So here, in a nutshell, is my list of my New Year’s resolutions, which have turned out to be not so much about what changes I’d like to make, but how to deal with the changes that have already occurred.
1. I resolve to accept that some things are beyond my control no matter how smart, sharp and on top of things I try to be
2. I resolve to reach out to my communities for support, sharing information and resources
3. I resolve to say less and love more, knowing I can’t fix, solve or handle everything all by myself
4. I resolve to find or use humor to lift my and others’ spirits whenever possible
And finally…
5. I resolve to more fully embrace the transitory nature of life, rather than rising and falling with everything that happens to me and everybody for whom I care. I can do this by tempering all emotions—the highs and the lows—with a growing appreciation for a taste of the bittersweet